Sunday, January 17, 2016

There Is a Post Coming

I am not flaking out again. I'm drafting and mulling and thinking I'm too tired to hit publish on anything reasonable, but I'm NOT FLAKING OUT on writing again. So, there. There is a post coming. It's just not this one.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Getting Started

This year will mark my fifth anniversary of being a single parent. I've learned a lot of things over these past few years, and I like to think that, despite being tired pretty much all the time, I'm still managing to raise a healthy, competent boy who will grow into a caring, careful man. 

The most challenging thing I have confronted in this journey as a single mom hasn't been dealing with my ex (although that does have its days), financial worries or work-life balance (because that, I have realized, is a never-attainable goal).

My biggest challenge has been getting started. At just about anything. Because I always, always have so many freaking things that I need to get done. I need to get ready for work. I need to get the boy up and moving to get to school. I need to make breakfast, unload the dishwasher, remember my stuff, remind the boy to remember his stuff, get out the door (sometimes on time), crap ... did I remember my phone?, get to work, WORK, run errands (and usually scarf something down) at lunch, WORK some more, pick up the boy, get home, make dinner, clean up dinner, fold a load of laundry, read with the boy, straighten up a little bit, try to get a few things going for tomorrow, get the boy to bed and boom. It's 9 o'clock. I'm tired, but there are still things to get done (run another load of laundry, straighten up the endless amount of toys and paper and general stuff that 7-year-old boys seem to shed like white cat shed fur on black slacks, look over house-buying stuff, deal with last week's mail, etc.). What happens way (way) too often is the things I need to do never get started, while I sit down and do something I want to do (like read a book).

So this year I have two goals that I'm working on. The first one is remembering that my son is now 7. Just because I have done things for him in the past, that is no reason to continue to do so if he's capable of doing it himself. I simply don't have the time, energy or inclination to continue to treat him as if he's 2. So if he doesn't pick up his toys in the evening, well, maybe I'll hide them when I pick them up. I suspect this one will be a challenge to simply remember before I'm getting him a glass of water, snack or whatever other request that he is actually capable of doing.

My second goal is to just GET STARTED. On whatever. Because not getting something all the way done is more progress than not doing it at all.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

School Vacations Are Designed to Make Parents Value Education

I love my son. I love getting to stay home with him on some of his school breaks.

But I also love, love, looooooove the day school starts back. Oh my goodness gracious, yes. We have some SERIOUS cabin fever going on around here. 

Some of it is a product of circumstances: we live in an apartment, so he doesn't have an awful lot of space for the ridiculous amount of bounce-off-the-wall energy a 7-year-old boy apparently generates by breathing. (Child-sized hamster balls that generate electricity could be the clean energy source of the future if you just put a bunch of 7-year-old boys in them ... maybe with a few toy guns and tell them they have to ESCAPE FROM ENEMY STORM TROOPERS.)

Some of it is my own dang fault for treating previous vacations as "Let's Go Do Something Fun" (and expensive). I was too busy teaching my son that he needed to be entertained and not realizing the disaster that would subsequently unfold when said child is required to entertain himself. Without a screen. (That would be my aversion to using the TV or iPad as a babysitter  — curse my wayward eyes for reading every freaking news site and mommy blog that preaches the perils of too much screen time.) 

This vacation has taught me that limits are a good thing and, therefore, are going to become a lot more prevalent. It's taught me that lessons in quiet time are mandatory. And it's taught me to reeeeeaaally value the time he spends in school!